Merry Christmas!

All family should have received their Christmas cards by now, so I think these are safe to post. Merry Christmas from our little family!

Yes, the gauntlet still lives on. I can only imagine what Christmas may bring. 

In good news, Justin seems to be doing better already. He has progressed from wheezy to coughy to snotty, but has seemed much, much happier in the past 24 hours. Baby Daddy refers to his antibiotic/steriod/formula mix as his 'drug cocktail' and his nebulizer as his 'bong' or 'hooka'. Thankfully he doesn't know what that means yet. He has spent a lot of time giggling and reaching for our faces, especially when we make silly noises. He has also really started to play with toys and pulls them to his mouth. I have a great video of him laughing that I will attempt to post later - this may be a Baby Daddy thing - technology isn't my best friend at the moment. Merry Christmas :)

Sick Baby

Remember that 'iron-clad' immune system I was boasting of Justin? I think I jinxed him. On Friday evening Justin started coughing, and it only got worse from there. We called the Doctor's office and followed a nurse's suggestion for a day, and then made an appointment this morning with his pediatrician (who we love). The verdict: An ear infection and bronchiolitis.

Booooo. He has an oral steriod (to help with swelling of his airways), a nebulizer (which creates a mist he can breath to help open his airways), and an antibiotic for his ear infection. Between three months of colic, three weeks of constipation, and this the poor little dude just can't seem to catch a break.

If you need us in the next few days, we'll be dealing with this:

This is actually an old photo of Fustin Justin. The poor little guy is just as miserable now :(

Justin's First Christmas

I think it goes without saying that we've been pretty excited for this Christmas (oh, since . . . last Christmas). We have prepared a few special things for Justin's first ring-around-the-Christmas-tree.

I was lucky enough to find a matching stocking for Justin and got it monogrammed (I may have done the same for Izzers - I told you we were 'those people'). It is hung on our mantle and Justin has already received the new 'Girlfriend'.

The Ornament -When Baby Daddy and I were married, we started a tradition of getting an ornament or two every year in the hopes that we will someday be able to fill a tree with just these ornaments. So far, we have an 'Our first Christmas' ornament, a John Deere Tractor, a Christmas Vacation ornament, a 'Rudolph The RedNosed Reindeer' ornament, and a Stormtrooper (guess whose idea that was). This year we started JFrog's collection - his rattle ornament says "Baby's First Christmas 2010". He will get one every year that reflects his current interests.

Donation - One of the things that we both agree on is that we could give more to others and hope to instill this thought in Tank from the beginning. We have decided to donate a gift to a charity of his choosing. This year we decided upon the University of Iowa Children's Hospital since, well, he's a baby, and we realize that not all parents and babies are as lucky as we are when it comes to health. In the future, we will let Justin choose - whether it be to the Humane Society due to an interest in Izzers, or Touchdowns for Kids due to an interest in football, or anything else that his little heart wishes. We want him to realize that even though we sometimes get caught up in wanting more and thinking that we don't have as much as we 'should', we have more than enough and should share with others.

Other Traditions - Alrighty Confession Time- I do not like mall Santas. We debated taking Justin to see Santa this past week when he was visiting our bank but decided against it. This happens to be one of the things I think mean more to parents than children, especially at this age. Baby Daddy often accuses me of not doing common things simply because they are common, but I really don't see the point of this. Also, paying $20 to get a picture of my baby sitting on the germ-infested lap of an a) pedophile or b) creepy old child-loving guy seems wrong to me. In the future, if Justin wants to see Santa we will make it happen, but until he requests it, we will pass. Call me a fun hater . . .

Christmas Vacation - Justin has already watched (that is: fussed a little and slept through) this, the GREATEST MOVIE EVER. It is a staple in our house, even though Baby Daddy only lets me watch it once with him. He is a fun hater.

Presents - We are both in agreement that Christmas presents will be opened on Christmas morning. No Christmas Eve presents in this household . . . Again, since Justin is too little to understand and is in general a fuss bucket between 8 and 10 pm- which has earned him the latest nickname 'Fustin Justin'- we gave him the new toy early this month. Hey - anything to make my Little Dude Smile when he's fussy.

P.S. Tom Brady - please cut your hair.

4 Months

Our Little Dude is four months old. Crazy . . . Here's a little update.

* Justin's newest nickname is 'Tank'. Allow me to explain:

Weight: 16.3 lbs (75 percentile)

Height: 26.5 in (>90 percentile)

Yep, he's well on his way to being a linebacker. We knew he was a big guy, but geesh - today we moved up the straps in his carseat and took the padding out of his swing.

* Many of his 3-6 month clothes are becoming short. The size 2 diapers currently residing on his cute butt may need to be switched for larger ones soon.

* Justin has an iron clad immune system so far. Both Mitchell and I have had the stomach flu, and I have had strep within the past month and JFrog hasn't shown symptoms of either.

Pardon SARS lady here - Baby Daddy was out of town for a few days and I had strep. Not wanting to breathe in his face, I donned this adorable and sexy face masks for two days.

* Justin is eating six ounces of formula at a time throughout the day. Unfortunately, the stomach flu did a number on my breastmilk supply (to the tune of producing only two ounces a day), so the Little Dude is only getting formula now. While I am glad to have my boobs back, formula does a number on his little stomach. We endured a couple of rough weeks dealing with constipation. I am sure my number is now screened by the nurses in Justin's pediatrician's office. On the fourth suggestion, we found something that worked and Justin is back to regular poo'ing. (Future Justin, I am sure you will be greatly embarassed by this - sorry :) ). Justin is not at all a picky eater - he had two different formulas (one soy - ick), some karo syrup, and now Miralax (the wonder powder for Justin's colon) and ate it all like a champ - not that you could tell by looking at him.

* He is not rolling over, but is making strides. Within the past week, he has started rolling on his side regularly and will do that enough to spin himself on the floor. He moves and squirms almost constantly.

Oh yes - Baby leg warmers :) (Baby Daddy thinks they are ridiculous)

* Justin is still sleeping well, though the constipation interefered for a few nights. He typically falls asleep around 9:30, wakes around 4, and goes right back to sleep after getting some food. Some nights vary - he may wake up around 1 am as well, or he may sleep until 5 like last night :) ). His naps still vary - somedays he naps 3-4 times, others only twice.

We call this 'Thug Mode'

* Justin's favorite toy is our arms. He loves to be carried, facing out - not facing in, and certainly not just facing out sitting down. We've broken out the Baby Bjorn a lot lately - even in Target, and he seems to like it. He grabs and holds his toys, often swinging them through the air. Mommy gets way excited when you hold onto something, though he started to pull everything (including mommy's hair) to your mouth. We have gotten an exersaucer and he has been it in a few times, for a few minutes at a time.

We borrowed cousin Annabanana's exersaucer while at Grandma and Grandpas two weeks ago

. . . and someone got jealous.

* He has gotten really good at lifting and holding his head up.

* We get the feeling that Justin is going to be a finger sucker. His hands are constantly in his mouth, and he has started using his fingers to pop out his pacifier so that he can suck on his middle fingers.

* In his fourth month, Justin met a LOT of new people and did great. You just have one more side of your extended family to meet, which will happen this Sunday. You are the center of attention and we love to show you off.

* Justin is so curious - he tracks who is talking, wants to feel different toys, grabs at whatever is in front of him, and has begun to notice Izzers (who is also getting curious with Justin).

We have a lot planned for you in your fifth month Tank - including your first Christmas :) I know a lot of moms are kind of sad to put away the baby things, but I am loving being a mom more and more every single day. I just adore your cute little face and can't wait to pick you up every day.

Product Reviews: 0-3 mos.

When I was pregnant, I asked all of my friends who were mothers to give me their opinions on various baby items - what were most helpful, if they had any brand successes or failures, what was unnecessary, and what was absolutely necessary. I also read reviews of every single product I was thinking of buying online, and luckily we avoided buying more than we needed and most of what we have we use. I know a few ladies who are pregnant, so I thought I would pay it forward and give you all my list - our product reviews for Justin's first three months.

The Good:

1. Sleep Sacks and Breathable Crib Bumper

Imagine you are alone with your seven week old baby, husband away on business, during the middle of the night when you are awoken by the worst baby shriek you've ever heard (no joke - so much worse than his two month shots). You jump up, reach down to get your baby from the crib, and he doesn't budge. After feeling around, you discover that his little leg has found its way between two crib slats and is STUCK between the crib and the wall. Terrifying - I pulled the crib away from the wall, gently eased his leg back into the crib, picked up my baby and held him tighter than I had probably held him that far. I actually called Mitchell at four in the morning, after Justin was fed and asleep - terrified that he had broken a leg and was going to be taken away by DHS. The moral of the story - Sleep sacks are awesome - they both keep baby warm and don't allow him to spread his legs far enough to get stuck between slats.

As a backup, I thought a crib bumper would be a good idea but wasn't about to put a nice, thick, cushy, SIDS-inducing bumper in there. I found a breatheable one online which is essentially a mesh fabric. Since we've started using sleep sacks and installed the crib bumper we have not had any problems and both Baby Daddy and I can sleep a little easier.

2. The Happiest Baby on the Block (DVD) and the best (and only) swaddling blankets you'll need

Prior to Justin's arrival, I netflixed 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' (much to Baby Daddy's disdain as his comic movies were pushed further back) for both of us to watch. It covers basic steps - the 5 S's to calm a colicy baby. At the time we had no idea that Justin would have colic, but we wanted to be prepared just in case. Despite what the netflix dvd tells you, the dvd is only 38 minutes long, not 2 hr. 8 min. It covers common sense methods to calm your baby that we used many, many times over the course of Justin's first three months. Colic is frustrating enough - not having knowledge of calming tools would make it that much worse.

One of the five S's is Swaddling - supposedly it recreates the feeling of the womb and brings baby back to a state of calm (or begins to). Justin started breaking out of swaddles when he was still in the hospital, so we did not swaddle religiously, but on a few rough nights when we couldn't get him to calm down, we broke out the.most.awesome.swaddling.blankets.in.the.world. Aden and Anais Swaddle Blankets (we used the ones made for Target) are made of muslin, so they are very light and would be perfect for a summer baby where light coverage is needed. They are also the largest swaddling blankets I have found and would definitely be usable as baby grows. They stretch easily and really do get softer with every wash. Bonus - They are now in some Target stores - back in my day they were only online.

3. 'Hospital Blue Nasal Aspirator'

Not all nasal aspirators are created equal. When in the hospital, they should give you a large blue nasal bulb aspirator. KEEP IT. You may think that the white ones sold at Target are the same. False my friends - false. They suck - well, actually they do not. Seriously - if some nurse tries to keep you from taking the blue bulb, smack her and run with it.

4. Baby Einsten bouncer

We actually bought a vibrating chair aka 'bouncy seat' before we were gifted the Baby Einsten bouncer. We quickly decided to keep the Baby Einstein (Thanks Kay!) for two main reasons. 1) The music plays continuously - you don't need to repeatedly pull a cord. 2) It has a light at the top that changes colors - and babies love lights.

5. Bright Starts Ingenuity Cradle and Sway Swing - Bella Vista

This swing is awesome. It has different music options (which will get stuck in your head and you'll find yourself humming them all day), swings both side-to-side (the only way we've used it) and front-to-back, you can adjust the seat incline, and the fabric is easily machine-washable (for blowout cleanup). I don't know if there is anything to this or not, but it claims to use 'hybrid drive' which is supposed to help with energy usage. I do know that after nearly 3.5 months of use, we are still using the original batteries. :)

6. Lansinoh nipple cream

If you plan to breastfeed, buy it. It will be your best friend.

7. Baby Einstein activity mat

It has 'The Girlfriend', and a music box. 'nuff said

The 'Meh'

Ergo BabyCarrier - This was rated very highly in online reviews and was supposed to be better than the Baby Bjorn. It is also more expensive and we were planning to use it quite a bit in our no-stroller experience. We used it twice, for walks around the block. And now we are using a Baby Bjorn . . . Justin likes it sooo much more because he can face out and see things beside my sternum.

Dr. Brown Bottles - Again supposed to be amazing. Unfortunately each bottle has 5 pieces to it which makes cleaning a pain. We did not find that they reduced colic at all.

Don't Bother

Diaper Genie or other - a stainless steel trash can that won't absorb odors does the same thing.

Video Monitor - This is one of those things that just plays on parents' insecurities. An audio monitor works just fine and it is recommended that babies stay in their parents' rooms for the first year. No, this has nothing to do with the fact that we don't have a nursery. . .

Crib Bedding - We all know that soft, loose bedding in a crib is a no-no. So save your money. No one (but maybe you) cares if the bedding is a matching set. Grab a few crib sheets and call that good. Chances are they are going to get peed on anyway, and if you do have loose bedding in the crib you will be up all night making sure your baby hasn't faceplanted into it.

Justin's Birth

It just occurred to me that Justin is nearly four months old and I haven't documented his birth story, if for no other reason than my own remembrance later.

Justin was evicted on Thursday, August 12, six days after his due date. My OB was not willing to let me go more than a week past Justin's due date, and though I pushed for an induction on that day, yes Friday the 13th, they were unable to accomodate us (I wasn't aware a reservation was required for childbirth). I slept really well the night before I was induced and we arrived at the Labor and Delivery floor of Covenant on time (!!!). In my typical way of dealing with things I am nervous about - I hadn't really allowed myself to think of what was going to happen beforehand. Thus, I was getting really nervous walking to the unit. I kept thinking, 'When I walk out of here I will be responsible for a tiny, new baby'. It was a surreal feeling. We checked in and were shown to our room. A few minutes later, my labor nurse - a lovely woman named Mary - arrived and handed me a gown, told me to change, and climb in the bed so she could poke me a bunch of times and hook up lots of equipment. Well, you don't really mess with the lady who watches you during birth so I did what she told me.

When she got back, she hooked me up to what I call the 'contraction machine' which showed I was having contractions, unbeknownst to me. I really think that I would have gone into labor on my own in the next day. As it was, she put in the IV and started a pitocin drip - as I was already effaced and dilated a little, I had no need for Cervadil - around 10:30. Mary asked what my thoughts on epidurals were (I was highly considering one since I heard of the induction) and reassured me there was no need for me to feel any pain (lovely woman, truly). Once the pitocin kicked in, the contractions went from unnoticeable to OHMYGODMAKEITSTOP. With every contraction, I felt immense pressure on my bladder and thus tightened all muscles, which is exactly what you are not supposed to do. Mary noticed this and called in the anestheologist. Within twenty minutes I had an epidural in place. It was wonderful. Mitchell did watch the monitors throughout my labor and did say that the ones I felt were some of the worst. Whether he was just trying to make me feel better or not, I do not know.

Around 12:00 my OB came in and broke my water. It was about this time that Mary, noticing my low heart rate and low blood pressure, commented that I 'must work out'. I laughed and replied, 'never'. For the next two hours, I shook uncontrollably which really freaked Mitchell out. As it turned out, I was simply dilating quickly and was in the transition state. I spent the time working on a crossword with Mitchell, online shopping, and checking facebook. The next time I was checked, I was around 9.5 cm. Mary called my OB, and a few more things made its way into our room - tables of sterile tools and gowns and supplies for Baby Hunt mostly.

Mary had me 'practice pushing' starting around 2:30. By practice pushing, she meant 'whenever you feel a contraction, or IF you feel a contraction (I guess I was pretty doped up - even for an epidural), try to push'. So for the next hour, hour and a half, I pushed every now and then, sometimes lapsing 15 minutes ,while Mary helped move me around to get better reads on Justin's monitors and to see which position helped move him further down. Remember - he was already really low, as I was told by EVERY SINGLE DOCTOR AT EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT PAST 35 WEEKS WHEN EVERYONE TOLD ME I WOULD GO INTO LABOR EARLY. Around 4:00 things got serious and it was all pushing business from there. The OB used a vacuum on the last push to get Justin around the pelvic bone, and then my baby was here! He was so handsome and had hair! He figured out the eating thing right away and we were surprised that he came in over half a pound less than the estimates.

Mitchell and I waited about an hour until we decided upon 'Justin' to call our families. The ladies in my family are known for quick labors - my parents were afraid I was going to be born on the way to the hospital and Annabanana was born about 4 hours after my sister's water was broke - and they had gotten impatient and just left for the hospital earlier.

So there you have it, the story of how Justin arrived. Now that he has officially doubled in size, I already get nostalgic looking at this picture, thinking of that day and how my life changed.

PostPartum Check-In # 1

We're three weeks in and both have good news to report. and bad news. Good news - both Baby Daddy and I lost three and a half pounds. Bad news - we each lost four pounds due to the stomach flu two weeks ago and gained half a pound during Thanksgiving.

Since the point of sharing this embarrassing information publicly is to shame ourselves into getting off our butts, here is the dirt:

Bon - I have been totally failing in the exercise department (like once). I have the best of intentions when leaving work, but seem to find lots of excuses when I get home. I also overindulged a little during Thanksgiving.

Mitch - "Thanksgiving and lack of exercise makes Mitch a doughy boy" (his words)

So, goals for the next two weeks:

Bon - Exercise at least six times; Eat better breakfasts, limit snacking after work

Mitch - Exercise at least six times

We'll se how we do in the midst of the holiday season!

This Thanksgiving

. . . we're thankful for this little guy.

Our Week

We had quite the week in the our little home. It began innocently enough - Monday we went to work and returned home with the dude. That night, though, as I was cooking dinner (and the gourmet grilled cheese and tomato soup at that) it hit like a brick wall - the stomach flu. Ick. Ick. Ick. I spent my first night not in the same room as Justin, and it was not a fun one. I hate being sick nearly as much as I hate working out.

I stayed home the next day, only to get a call from Daycare that Justin possibly had pinkeye and he needed to be picked up grreeeaaattt. I called Baby Daddy, who picked him up, and made an appt. with a Dr. in his pediatrician's office. Baby Daddy came home, reported that he also felt ill, napped for awhile, and took him to the doctor where crappy drops were procured. (Justin has had a teary/sometimes 'goopy' eye for a few weeks - the pediatrician commented on it at his two month appt. We have NEVER seen even a little color in his eye [besides those handsome blues]). So, Mitch comes home and gets more sick. Luckily, the Little Dude was spared from the sickness.

Saturday we celebrated Auntie Em's birthday, and today we spent a relaxing, though busy, day at home. We attempted some tummy time . Justin's version of tummy time means being put on his stomach, struggling and grunting for a bit while trying to lift his butt in the air, then giving up and sucking on his hand. He tries to raise his head maybe 50% of the time. We took 193 pictures to use for our Christmas Card (though 15 were of Izzers) - because having a baby means people now care to receive holiday mail. Baby Daddy let me put up Christmas decorations even though he's vehemently against Christmas before Thanksgiving. He only did it because we're uber busy until Christmas - don't give him too much credit ;) Pictures will be posted once we find a Hallmark that doesn't suck.

The photo above is of our little model showing off his handmade sweater. It amazes me that someone actually made that sweater - Thanks Stacia! It fits him perfectly now.

3 Months

It sounds cliche, but I cannot believe that Justin is already 3 months old. He has changed sooooo much in the past few weeks. Here's a little update of our Little Dude:

* (Knock on Wood) - The biggest change has been the improvement in Justin's fussiness/colic. He had one pseudo-fussy evening in the past nine, which is amazing! He has been such a happy baby lately, only fussing when he needs something (i.e. FOOD).

* He is still our big Little Dude and currently weighs 14 lbs. 3 oz. He is wearing all of his 3-6 month clothes (6-9 month under-onesies), and Mommy hopes they will last through Christmas. He is in size 2 diapers.

* Justin loves his Mam pacifiers. Unfortunately, so does Izzers, and she has ruined two in the past few weeks.

* Justin LOVES to watch TV. Two weekends ago he started watching the Hawkeye game (at least this is what Baby Daddy says, though I will admit that he seems to pay more attention when football is on), and now he turns his head toward the TV, often even when eating.

* His sleeping patterns have, well, lacked a pattern. He has started falling asleep around 9:30 each night. He usually wakes up once a night - between 1 and 3, sometimes twice - around 1 and 4, and last night he slept straight from 9-5 :) Naps are inconsistent - sometimes he naps a few times during the day, once during others.

* Justin eats 4 oz. every 3ish hours, and still gets some breastmilk each day. Mommy is so glad that feeding time is no longer stressful for you :)

* He is working towards rolling over, popping onto his side often.

* Justin's favorite toys are his activity mat (i.e. The Octopus), his mobile, and once in awhile his bouncy seat (he likes the light that changes colors at the top).

* He is becoming quite vocal - laughing, cooing, even squealing once in awhile. He has laughed at peekaboo once, and laughed at blowing on his tummy as well.

* He is less of a frog, and loves to move and kick his legs as much as he can - We think he is going to be quite the mover when he figures it all out.

* Justin still looks like his daddy, though I've been told that as he is 'filling out', he is starting to resemble me - gee, thanks ;)

Happy 3 Month Birthday J.Frog! We are looking forward to you meeting more of your family in the next month for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

Postpartum Check-in #1

In Justin's Baptism post, I alluded to the fact that I, like many women who have just had a baby, am unsatisfied with my postpartum body. And by unsatisfied, I mean hating it. So, I've decided to do something about it. And you, my dear reader(s), get to hear about it, because actually having to admit publicly if I am making any progress, or admitting to shortfalls, may help keep me on track. Oh, and Baby Daddy is joining me in this - he has been complaining about his postpartum body for years . . .

So, the dirt - When pregnant with Justin I gained nearly 40 pounds. Yeppers. ouch. 40. and Justin was only 7 of that. Not that I am complaining about that . . . at all. Thus far, I have lost 25 pounds. Now you may be thinking, 'Why Bonnie, that means you have 15 pounds to lose'. Wrong, dear reader(s), wrong. Unfortunately, this lady found out she was pregnant right before the holiday season, which lead to a virtual pigout at each family celebration - 'One piece of pie for me, one piece for Baby Hunt'. Repeat. So, I gained a few pounds before the first prenatal weigh-in. Thus, my weight loss goal is 20 pounds, which would put be back in my set-range. And also back in my normal clothes. Yes, this German lady carries extra weight in her chest and hips - surprising, I know - which means that my clothes STILL DO NOT FIT. Seriously - this is ridiculous. I refuse to buy larger clothes, not because I have a problem with a larger number, but because I do not want to spend the money on a new wardrobe.

You should also know that I despise exercising. Some people find it relaxing, or energizing, or even fun - that's not me. I kick and scream when forced with the idea. But we just got an elliptical, so Baby Daddy tells me that I have to use it. Though I tell him he has to stop eating the peanut butter, and it's still in the cupboard . . . so this won't be easy.

Now that I am thoroughly embarrassed, I will summarize - goal: lose 20 pounds, quickly but in a healthy manner (don't worry mom and dad ;) ), fit into regular clothes, eat less processed food, exercise more. And let you lovely people know how we're doing. Because you care, or at least I will be embarrassed if you ask me about it later and I have to admit that I had two doughnuts and a hamburger for lunch.

No longer 7 pounds . . .

Meet my competition . . .

'The Octopus'

The Octopus resides at the top of Justin's activity mat, and we refer to is as Justin's Girlfriend, because when he sees her, he does this . . .

. . . nearly instantly. He coos, smiles, and laughs up a storm. But not with other animals, or lights - just this octopus. I am slightly jealous of a stuffed object right now.

Some other things happening of late (AKA: Where Baby Momma brags on her handsome):

The most adorable hat ever - everyone says so :) We have been bundling Justin for his trek to daycare.

Justin is doing really well at holding his head up. He is quite the strong boy. (Here they were watching the Iowa game last Saturday.) We will be using the bumbo seat more in the next few weeks. What do you think - does he still look like Baby Daddy?

The three grandbabies together for Halloween. I used to think Annabanana was big - now not so much. The little dude is 11 weeks here, compared to Annabanana's 6 months.

In other news, Justin's fussiness/colic has not been as bad the past few days (here's hoping I don't jinx anything by saying this). I really wish it would continue to improve. He's such a happy little guy when he's not in pain.

My First Halloween

Baptism

Justin was baptized this past Sunday and by far the most important thing I learned from the day is that while knit dresses are wonderful for showing off baby bumps, they are not so fabulous for postpartum tummies. Yeah - this is why we're purchasing exercise equipment this week, revising our menus, and taking only properly staged photos until I feel like I no longer look like I'm pregnant.

Justin's baptism went off without a hitch, though we were convinced he had filled his diaper in the middle of the ceremony. We opted to do the baptism outside of mass, and Justin was one of four baptized this Sunday. When choosing a church to attend in town, we sided with the more traditional church. There is a contemporary, college oriented church in town, but it was further away, and a little too 'touchy feely, happy' for my tastes, thus traditional baptism for us. While I may not always agree with the Catholic Church (and some days agree with little of it), it was important to me, and Baby Daddy, that Justin be raised as we were. We both believe that the upbringing we received in the church molded parts of who we are, and since we will be raising him, we will certainly try to teach him to be critical and think for himself, that he need not believe everything, but that he believe in something good. Not a single baby made a peep when the water and 'Oil of Salvation' (which looked and smelled strangely like spiced olive oil to me) were put on their heads.

Woo-hoo Bath Time!!

. . . with the Godmamas

Alright, there was a minor hitch - and I call it 'Mullet lady'. Baby Daddy, myself, and Justin's godparents were standing around the fountain, when someone brushed me, pointed to a family across the fountain and says, 'I need to get a picture', steps slightly in front, and to the side of me, completely in front of the godparents, takes a picture, and JUST STAYS THERE. No, really lady, it's your day, please don't let me get in your way.

Here she is, in the yellow shirt, planning her sneak attack

We were lucky that Justin's Grandma H saved the baptism outfit worn by Mitchell and offered it to us for Justin's baptism. He looked oh-so-adorable. Or, at least as adorable as a little boy can be in a baptism outfit. And, hey - at least we didn't put him in a dress like the other parents.

Sorry ladies, he is not available for dates until he is at least 25 years old . . .

After the baptism, we returned to our home for lunch (made by me at 9 pm the evening before) and pictures. Luckily, the smell of fried onions and bacon from making German Potato Salad at 11 pm had left the house and everything went smoothly for our first bifamilial gathering.

Why is it a tradition to take pictures of cakes? I swear I have one from every big event in my life.

Family W Four Generations

Family V Four Generations

Family H Four Generations

Baby Daddy's Family

My family

Justin crying because he was forced into an International onesie . . .

just kidding . . . they would say the same about a JD onesie ;)

Mullet lady strikes again !! (Seriously, see how I'm turned in to avoid her path??)

Mommy Bon

I have spent a lot of time in the past few weeks thinking of what it means to be a mom. Some women 'feel like a mom' before the baby is even born, even as soon as they find out they are pregnant. This was not me. Others feel it when they get that mysterious 'rush of love' immediately when their babies are born. This was not me either. There are so many notions out there of what should happen - you should be consumed with love and motherly instinct the first moment you meet your baby, you should exclusively breastfeed (no bottles) your baby for at least six months, you should be able to calm your baby, etc, and this 'makes you a good mom'. When Justin was born, I knew immediately that he was our son and I loved him, but the clouds did not part and sun did not rain upon us. When I couldn't feed him without stressing him out and without him crying, I felt like crap - not like a mom. When he got gas cramps and I couldn't calm him for the life of me, even though I tried everything I knew of - I felt even more like crap, and certainly not like more of a mom. Sadly, I remember telling Mitchell many times in the first month of Justin's life that I 'just don't feel like a mom'. And not feeling like a mom, made me feel like even less of a mom.

I kept waiting for the feeling to hit me, but it didn't, and I continued to feel like a caretaker, not like a mom, because after all, I didn't fit the description. The first time we gave Justin a little formula, after I had tried to feed him and he had unlatched five times and was screaming, I actually cried - and I'm NOT a crier. (Seriously, in my ninth month of pregnancy I could've watched Marley and Me with dry eyes). I felt BAD for feeding my son formula, even though it did not result in a breakdown. And I continued to feel bad until one day when I was watching Mitchell feed Justin my milk in a bottle, and I realized that he was just fine, that everything was okay, that our son was happy - that he could eat, be burped, and go back to play without crying. I have also come to realize that there, sometimes, is just nothing I, or we, can do to help Justin's gas cramps, and that the poor guy will just cry. I can still hold him and try to help reduce the pain he feels, and I now know that it has nothing to do with the type of mother I am.

I wish I could say that I felt like a mom from the beginning, but I can't. It is hard when you hear women talk about the immediate bond they felt with their baby upon his or her birth. It took me entirely too long to realize that being a mom is different for every woman. I read the blog of a woman who had similar feelings and it just clicked. For me, being a mom is about making Justin the happiest that I can. If that means feeding him from a bottle, then I'll feed him from a bottle. If that means trying to simply stay calm when he cries, I'll hold him and have Baby Daddy take over for awhile if it gets to be too much. And that feeling that some women get when they first meet their baby? I now get it everytime Justin smiles or coos at me, and everytime I give him a bath (which is still just a mom thing), and everytime he falls asleep on me, and everytime I see these two together:

. . . because they make me happy and I certainly hope I do the same for them. And because even though I may not have felt like a mom to myself, I was always mom to Justin.

(and Izzers, of course)

Alright, enough sappiness - more pictures of my handsome boy :)

Justin's first day in jeans. Baby Daddy dressed Justin this morning and dropped him off at daycare so I could sleep in, and when I picked him up (early because I didn't want to go home without him) I found him in jeans. I have to say, he is darling, isn't he? And yes, I do tell Mitchell that he's just setting him up for disappointment trying to make him a Cubbies fan, but what can I do? (It could be worse - he could be a Cardinals fan ;) )

Justin loves his play mat, and can stare at the lights or himself for quite awhile. He is kind of a vain baby, but who can blame him? Baby Daddy jokes that I am going to give him an ego problem. Yes, we got the Einstein onesie. And guess what? I don't think it is going to fit for much longer :/ It is a 3-6 month size, but like many of the pieces I pulled out of storage this weekend, it doesn't look like it will last very long.

Our newest Hawkeye outfit! He still hasn't missed a game :) Please notice the multiple chins :)