1. I know nothing about parenting. I know what works for my baby; not your baby. Some of the stuff I read in parenting books before Justin was born did not work for him. For example - Justin did not like to be swaddled. No matter how tight we safely got the swaddle, he broke out by morning. I found advice in all sorts of places - books, parents, friends, and a LOT from my sister. I was grateful to have those resources.
2. Moms can be really mean to each other. Here I was, pre-baby, pregnant, walking around under this happy little cloud thinking all moms were helpful and nice. They're not. Pick nice ones to talk to and avoid the rest. There are a lot of issues that are personal choices - Breastfeeding v. Formula Feeding (y'all know what that one did to me); Whether the baby sleeps in the parents room or his/her nursery; To pacifier or not to pacifier; Center Daycare or In-home daycare; Stay at Home Mom or Working Mom; etc. and some women will just FORCE THEIR ULTIMATE OPINIONS DOWN YOUR THROAT. I had to ignore them and realize that I had to do I thought was best and safest for my family, and learn how to give "the look" and walk away.
3. It seriously takes a village. I have the utmost respect for honest-to-God single moms out there. God Bless you women. I have a fabulous husband/Baby Daddy who is not afraid to change diapers or take Justin to Target himself, and who will play with Justin on Saturday mornings so I can sleep in. In addition - We both have families that ADORE our son and jump at the chance to watch him. We have had a good number of date nights to keep our own relationship healthy and to just have a break while knowing he is safe, cared for, and loved. I seriously cannot thank them enough. To do that ALL by yourself is amazing.
4. I should be less judgemental. I think Annabanana slept in her carseat for the first two months of her life, and I was all like, 'Seriously M? Her carseat?'. And then my baby was born, and didn't sleep more than 90 minutes a time for a week, and I called my sister and was all, 'So, exactly how does this carseat thing work?'. Turns out, it didn't help JFrog sleep anymore than being in his crib (probably like the swaddle), but I learned my lesson. Whatever safely makes life easier for the baby makes life easier for the rest of us. I got a bunch of advice on everything from feeding to toys from M and it has made my life easier. Oh, and that screaming baby in the aisle in Target? Likely not the mother trying to ruin my shopping trip as I previously thought. More than likely the child is simply throwing a temper tantrum and she is trying to condition the behavior.
5. You may not feel super connected to your baby at first, and that is okay. Every single sitcom that has had a childbirth on an episode has glamorized this phenomenon - Mother gives birth to baby that she has carried for nine months; Mother falls instantly in love with baby; Mother and baby skip off into field of daisies singing Kumbaya, forever one magical family unit. Just like that. That didn't happen for me. They say that for the mother, this connection happens at the moment of birth; but for the father it takes awhile - until some event happens that makes the man realize, 'This is my child'. I think that was the case for me as well. It was when Justin first started smiling, and he went from being a blob to "my baby", thinking that he may recognize me on some level more than "food", that the connection was formed. I do not think it is a bad thing at all. Call it hormones or whatever you like - that's the way it was for me and is for many women.
6. Never say Never. I bought a video baby monitor. I said I wasn't going to - that they preyed on anxiety ridden parents who couldn't survive on just an audio monitor. To be truthful, we had an audio monitor, but when we moved it picked up a lot of interference. Also, when Justin moved into his own room, I wanted to be able to see him without getting out of bed - there ya go - I'm hypocritical and lazy :) Also, Baby Daddy has traveled since we got it and I feel a little safer knowing that I can peek on Justin anytime I want to make sure he is safe. AND - I waited until I found one on sale at 50% off :) It is easy to be smug when your baby sleeps five feet from you.
7. No two babies are alike; Do NOT try comparing them. Annabanana walked at 10 mos. Justin wasn't crawling by then. Justin said Mama months before Annabanana. Justin weighs nearly 7 pounds more than a baby three weeks older than him. When they say that babies just reach milestones at different ages, and it is okay, IT IS OKAY. Leave it at that.
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